A Weekend in Hell: Diapers, Defamation, and Donald’s Dodgy Docketing

How a pro se dad in rural North Carolina spent Halloween buried in Trump’s sloppy legal filings—instead of cheering soccer goals and carving pumpkins with his kids. Spoiler: It sucked.

Nov 02, 2025

Oh, what a magical Halloween weekend it was. Picture this: crisp autumn air in the Blue Ridge Mountains, leaves crunching underfoot, and my three incredible kids, the 9 year old (the pint-sized philosopher plotting world domination), 13 year old (the soccer phenom with a foot like a rocket), and the 15 year old (brilliant soccer ref, full of life, smart as a whip). We had plans. Big plans. Pumpkins, soccer, trick-or-treating — the works.

Instead, I spent Saturday and Sunday buried under an avalanche of legal diarrhea courtesy of Donald J. Trump’s “dream team” at one of the largest law firms in the world, the McDonald’s of corporate law, slinging filings faster than they flip burgers, and just as greasy.

While my kids were asking why Dad’s “important work” meant missing their big moments, I was knee-deep in motions to strike, supplemental objections, and procedural chaos that would make a first-year clerk cry.

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The Scene of the Crime: A Lawsuit Born in Election Hell

It all started with my lawsuit against Trump, yes, that Trump, filed December 2024 after he peddled election lies that detonated my life. He blew the answer deadline by months, defaulting under Rule 55(a). Then came the cavalry: out-of-state lawyers from D.C. and NYC, who swooped in with pro hac vice petitions that looked like they were drafted by ChatGPT’s evil twin.

Their filings? Missing client authorizations, unsigned affidavits, and captions claiming I joined them in their motions. (Spoiler: I didn’t.) Both cited Business Court rules, even though we’re in Mitchell County, population 15,000, where the only “business court” is the Grassy Creek hardware store.

So I had to fix it, again, filing an objection to expose every procedural defect they ignored.

The Motion That Wasn’t

On October 30, they dropped a “Motion to Reschedule” a long scheduled default hearing. That motion was unsigned, unverified, and unlawful. No client certification, no Rule 11 signature, and submitted by lawyers not yet admitted to this court.

That’s why I spent my weekend writing Plaintiff’s Motion to Strike Defendant’s Motion for Continuance, 35 pages of procedural cleanup just to remind the fancy lawyers that signatures are, in fact, required. If you’d like to read that document, I’ve provided a link below.

They even claimed Trump “had not been served.” False. He was served twice — by court order and by the Palm Beach County Sheriff. Yet they called my filings “frivolous.”

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Meanwhile, in Hypocrisy Land...

Trump’s team now argues my lawsuit violates his First Amendment rights. But last year, he filed a 25-page complaint in Iowa accusing the Des Moines Register of “brazen election interference” under the state’s fraud act, because a poll showed him trailing Kamala Harris.

So, to recap: speech that hurts Trump is fraud, but speech that destroys my life is “constitutionally protected.”

If irony had a body, it’d be spray-tanned and shouting “witch hunt.”

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Snark Level: Expert. Rage Level: Nuclear.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t about politics. It’s about basic competence. These are multimillion-dollar lawyers who can’t even fill out a one-page state form correctly.

Their negligence cost me my weekend, the one I was supposed to spend carving pumpkins and cheering on my kids, because they think the rules don’t apply to them.

But they do.

That’s why I filed these responses, Plaintiff’s Opposition to Defendant’s Motion for Continuance, a Motion to Strike, and a Supplemental Objection to remind the court that even billionaires have to play by the same rules as everyone else. If you want to read these docs, I’ve provided a link to all of them below.

The Road Ahead

If this is how sloppy Trump’s legal team is on entry, imagine discovery. Subpoenas from D.C., depositions from New York, all while I’m still trying to balance parenting, paperwork, pizza nights, and try to make a living with donations from you.

But I’m not quitting. Not now, not ever. This fight is bigger than one case; it’s about accountability and I hope you’ll pay me to continue the fight.

Because in Mitchell County, North Carolina, we may not have high-rise courthouses, but we still believe the law applies to everyone, even people that want to be a, “King”.

Your Turn: Fuel the Fight

This is David vs. Goliath, if Goliath showed up drunk and forgot his slingshot. But I’m still standing, still filing, still fighting.

If you want to help keep this case alive (and maybe save me from another weekend in filing hell), chip in below. A few bucks for filings, copies, or, dare I dream, a paralegal hour so I don’t miss another soccer sideline.

I’m still seeking legal counsel to fight this battle with me but Trump in the lawsuit title has scared all the local lawyers off. If you know of someone that might help, please let me know.