A Muckraker’s Mea Culpa and a Focus on the Future
By David B. Wheeler, Co-Founder of American Muckrakers, Co-Host of MUCK YOU!, and Professional Thorn in the Side of Hypocrites
Oops, I “Wrote” When I Should’ve “Written”
Alright, you grammar gremlins, you got me. Yesterday’s post had a headline where I used “wrote” instead of “written,” and my inbox is now a war zone of pedantic emails. I get it. English is hard, and I’m out here slinging mud, not teaching AP Lit. So, mea culpa, folks. I screwed up. But let’s be real: if my worst crime is a verb tense fumble, I’m basically Mother Teresa compared to the clowns I’m exposing. Can we move on?
But here’s the deal: I’m all about accountability. You catch me slipping on something bigger than a typo, like, say, if I accidentally call Lauren “Beetlejuice” Boebert a slightly less chaotic trainwreck than she is, then hold my feet to the fire. I’m here for it. Just don’t expect me to cry over a misplaced participle. I’ve got bigger fish to fry, and they’re swimming in a swamp of MAGA nonsense.
The Future of My Resistance: Snark, Sass, and a Side of Strategy
So, where do we go from here in the fight against Trump and his merry band of conspiracy-peddling weirdos? The resistance isn’t just a hashtag or a bumper sticker—it’s a lifestyle, baby, and I’m all in. Picture me, your friendly neighborhood muckraker, armed with a laptop, a microphone, and enough caffeine to power a small nation, ready to drag the truth into the sunlight. The future is bright, snarky, and full of glorious chaos, and I’m here to lead the charge… if you’ll have me.Let’s talk specifics. The 2025 resistance playbook is gonna be a banger, and I’m already sharpening my metaphorical pitchforks. My sights are set on a few choice targets:
Lauren “Beetlejuice” Boebert: Oh, Lauren. The gift that keeps on giving. Whether she’s vaping in a theater, grifting her way to a new district, or preaching family values while her personal life resembles a reality TV dumpster fire, I’m on her like glitter on a stripper. Expect more exposés, more receipts, and maybe a few musical references to keep it spicy. “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!”—poof, there goes her credibility
.
Chuck “Have Another Scotch” Edwards: North Carolina’s own snooze-fest congressman. Chuck’s got that “I’d rather be golfing with lobbyists” energy, and I’m here to make sure his constituents, I am one by golly, know exactly what he’s not doing for them. Spoiler: it involves a lot of scotch and not much spine. Stay tuned for some deep dives into his voting record and donor list. It’s gonna be juicier than a distillery tour.
Helping Heroes Like Col. Moe Davis and Rep. Wiley Nickel: My podcast co-host, Col. Moe Davis, is a badass who’s been fighting the good fight since before some of you were born. He’s got the integrity of a saint and the wit of a stand-up comic, and I’m proud to back his efforts to keep North Carolina blue. Same goes for Rep. Wiley Nickel. He’s out there swinging for democracy, and I’m in his corner with a megaphone. These folks are the real deal, and I’m all about amplifying their work
My resistance isn’t just about dunking on bad guys (though, let’s be honest, that’s the fun part). It’s about building a future where facts matter, hypocrisy gets called out, and democracy doesn’t have to wear a hazmat suit to survive. Trump’s back, and his minions are louder than a toddler with a kazoo, but we’ve got the numbers, the smarts, and the sass to outlast them. So, buckle up, buttercups, we’re in this for the long haul.
A Muckraker’s Gotta Eat (and Pay for Wi-Fi)
Here’s the not-so-fun part: I’m not Tony Stark. I don’t have a trust fund or a secret lair funded by vibranium. I’m a scrappy entrepreneur who’s been grinding for 30+ years, and this muckraking gig? It’s my passion, but it’s not exactly a gold mine. If you want me to keep shining a light on the roaches in Congress, I need your help. So, please, pretty please with sugar on top, consider subscribing to my Substack or tossing a few bucks in the donation jar. Every dollar goes toward keeping the lights on, the coffee flowing, and the truth-telling machine humming. Plus, subscribers get early access to our MUCK YOU! podcast episodes, where Moe and I dish out the dirt with a side of dad jokes. It’s like NPR, but with more swearing and fewer tote bags.
Why I’m Not Going Anywhere (Unless It’s to a Boebert Deposition)
Look, I’ve been called a hack, a liar, and a “left-wing operative” by people who think “facts” are just spicy opinions. I sued Lauren Boebert (and won, thank you very much), threatened, and dragged on Fox News, Washington Times, Newsmax and CNN. And you know what? I’m still here, cackling like a hyena and typing faster than a caffeinated squirrel. Why? Because this work matters. Because democracy deserves better than a circus of grifters and yes-men. And because I’m just stubborn enough to keep going.
So, if you’re with me, let’s make 2025 the year we turn the heat up on Trump’s enablers and crank the volume on the truth. I’m ready to keep muckraking, podcasting, and snarking my way through the swamp.
Are you in?
Subscribe.
Donate.
Share.
Let’s make some noise.
Yours in glorious, typo-prone rebellion,
David B. Wheeler
Co-Founder, American Muckrakers
Co-Host, MUCK YOU!
P.S. If you spot another grammar mistake, keep it to yourself. I’m busy saving democracy.
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